Are We Always In Competition?

Competition is everywhere. It's even there for animals and plants. Competition for food and water, for space and habitat, and for mates. Competition is there for even the simplest of life forms.

So what are we humans, in competition for? Or at what age does competition become something we engage in?
Well, competition is introduced to us from a young age. We play games with our siblings, friends and family. And we are encouraged to be the winner in that game or at least try your best (to win!) Therefore it's understandable that competition stays with us and grows bigger as we become competitive over bigger things. Perhaps competition is what gives us drive, whether it's between ourselves or being better than others. So if the aim is to win the game. Define the game. Is it to have a boyfriend/girlfriend before your friends? to get better grades? to be prettier or thinner than others? Is it to have a bigger house than your sister? A more 'successful' marriage than your parents? Or having better behaved children than your friends? Perhaps it that we are driven by competition, in whatever form.
Jealousy comes along with competition. Even if we try as hard as we can we just can't seem to be as popular or as bright as others, it can drive us mad. We can become severely jealous of said persons. Whether we let it out or keep it deep inside of us, we may all be in some form of competition.
In the end perhaps the hardest form of competition is the one with yourself. Because even if you win, you still had to lose.

He Could Be 'The One'

'The One' a common saying mainly used by girls. But what I'm talking about today is that special character. The one that shames all other males in existence. You read the book or watch the film and you just can't help but to fall absolutely, head over heels in love with him.
Trying to find 'The One' after falling in love with such a character can be tricky. He's everything a girl is looking for and unfortunately you may end up comparing this character with other males, which is a bad idea. this character is (regrettably) fictional. He came from a girl's imagination. Of course he's perfect! He is 'The One'! She created him to be. He's soft and kind and he's protective and most of all, he loves her.
This is why the Twilight series is so dangerous. The characters' in this are so perfect and lovable that there is no human comparison. The way they love her is mad, she is so imperfect. But that in itself makes them all the more attractive, the fact that they will take her in spite of her faults.
This is the kind everyone is looking for. Which is why it can be nice to bury your head in a book and fall in love.
But just remember to get back to reality once in a while..


3 X's - walk away running.

Life and Death

Isn't it interesting how death can make us think of life?

Well maybe not as I suppose both are closely linked.
It is much more inspiring to hear of death if the person had lived a long and purposeful life. It made me think of how much I myself wanted to achieve.
I'm 16, so hopefully I have a lot of years left. But I don't want to waste a day. I want to make each day count for something. I want to jump out of bed everyday and be glad for what this day could bring.
Of course it does depend on what you want to get out of life. If all you're looking for is a bit of fun and laughs then fine. But wouldn't it be nice if after you're gone people remember you for much more than just a few jokes. If you could really be remembered for something great.
I'm not sure exactly what I'd like to achieve. I guess I could start small for now.. Just continue to learn and grow and most importantly (in my opinion) create.

Stars In My Eyes??

How to find your talent. Not easily done. It sometimes does seem that everyone around has something there exceptionally good at. They know they have a talent and there proud of it. But how did they find this talent of there's? I don't know. I heard talent is something innate rather than learned. perhaps you are born with a particular set thing which you are to be good at. or maybe It just deppends on how young you are when you start doing something, then that becomes your talent. How old is too old to start growing a talent?
Does it hvae somehting to do with what you like doing? I suppose it makes sense that you would be more likely to get good at something you're passionate about. Something you put a lot into to. Then you are able to get as much out of it. So starting young, finding something you love doing and working hard are possible ways of growing a talent. However.. Not nessiserly finding a talent. If you were to start young, perhaps it would be something your parent chose for you to do. And I suppose you would have learned to love it, or stopped it somewhere down the line.
For now I'd say find a few things you are good at, or even for now just things you enjoy doing. Who needs an actual talent? Maybe you'll find one. Maybe you won't.
Good luck.

Failure Before Success

Failure.. What does this word mean to you?
Well here are some things it means to me; Useless, rubbish, lazy, stupid.. I could go on, but I won't. Because, unfortunately failure is a part of life. It's a part we shouldn't be ashamed of. When we fail we learn. If we always got it right, first time, every time. What would we be learning from this? Nothing! We have to make mistakes to learn from them and get it right. That's just how it goes. So get used to failure, because it's going to happen. Perhaps a lot. That's fine. We are so pressured in this society to achieve, succeed, gain. It is programmed into us that failure is wrong! Achievement only. But, we can't always achieve it first time round. We should however be taught to aim high, try hard, fail, try again, keeping trying, until one time you get it right.
TBC...

Theatre Darling

My play shall be on at The Royal Exchange in Manchester on the 18Th of March.
I'm very excited about this. We had our first rehearsal session on Saturday. It went very well. It was odd meeting the two girls who would be playing my main characters. I would hopefully not have to decide who got to play which girl, as the pressure of choosing the right one would be too much for me. Also saying to one of them that they didn't get the biggest part, one the slightly smaller one. When we first got our girls we had to discus with them about friendship.
Friendship. What is friendship for? What does it mean to us? Do we really did it in some part of our lives? Well we asked the girls this. And they came up with some interesting ideas about what is important in a friend; A friend is someone who you can trust. A friend is someone who can tell you when you're wrong. A friend is someone who you can have things in common with bit still appreciate the differences between you. A friend is someone who is loyal to you.
I really liked the girls ideas, and I can't wait to get them to do some proper rehearsals. I especially can't wait to the end product of my play The Journey.

The Waiting Place

Dr Seuss such a clever man. So many hidden messages in his book.
One of my favourites; 'Oh The Places You'll Go' has a very good bit about the waiting place...
He is right, we are all just waiting. All the time, waiting. For various types of things, even when we finally get to do what we might have been waiting for, we may still be thinking "Hmm, whats next? Ah yes, I'm waiting until this finishes and I go home and do this."
I'm waiting right now. Waiting for Summer, for my GCSE's to be over, waiting for my play to be on in the theatre, just waiting.
'People just waiting. Waiting for a train to go, or a bus to come, or a plane to go, or the mail to come, or the phone to ring or the snow to snow, or waiting for a yes or no, or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting..'
It's difficult not to be waiting. I guess it depends on how long away you're waiting for. Have you ever though "I just have to get over all this then my real life will start." The thing is, we have to start living in the now. Tricky, I'm not at all good at living in the now. I'm always waiting for what's coming next.
So living in the now. How do you go about doing that? Well I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that is goes something like. Live each moment with joy and passion. Never think "this sucks" (although I do this all the time) just accept what it is and get on with it. This is your life. Now! So live it. And stop wishing for bits of it to pass you by. Every minute should be lived with purpose. our lives aren't that long. We'll never get everything done. But we can try. We can get some things done. We never really live to be old. We will always be young in comparison with the earth and creation. We're given a relatively short time. So it would be such a shame to waste it by doing things that you don't like and enjoy. So you'll have to learn to see the bright side in every situation. No more waiting for it to be over.

'No! That's not for you! Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying.'

Times Are Changing..

Would it be nice if everything stayed the same forever? No probably not. But then why does it still take us time to adjust to change?
Why don't we simply grasp change with both hands. Forget the past, it's gone, far behind us.
Sometimes I think I would like things to stay the same. When they're good anyway. But things have to change. They just have to. Things change for good. Things change for bad. But either way we have to learn to live with these changes.
I've always said about relationships that the hard part is not being together, but being apart. Because other people will get into the gaps you left...
You might think someone will be your best friend forever. But as soon as there's space between you, that space can grow, bigger and bigger until you're too far apart. You have both changed too much to come back together. And I guess you would just move on after this, have new friends. Things will never be the same. They will never be the same.
Because change is the only constant.

Hobo Cardigan And All

Do we have to dream big?
When we have dreams, goals, aims, who says they have to be big, extreme?
I decided I would like a job. To earn a bit of money. I thought to start with, that I would like to work in Sainsburys, but I don't really know why. I wouldn't get an amazing job there. I would probably stack shelves. I went on the website but it said I was too young to work there. It said I could apply in June 2010.
Later I was washing dishes, and thinking about what kind of job I might like. Then It came to me. I wanted to be a pot washer. That's what I could do for three years or so, before I decide if I want to go to uni. I liked the idea of pot washing, simple and humble. Could even be a laugh if you work with the right people. I could just do a couple of hours a night. I think It sounded perfect. I told my mother I was dreaming of being a pot washer, that's what I wanted to do. But she told me to dream big.. Why? Why should I dream of something big and extravagant when for now, all I wanted to do was be a pot washer? She said it doesn't pay well. And yes, maybe it doesn't. But it might teach me to accept what I have. To be grateful for what I have.
I read a quote not that long ago that said 'When you can't have what you want, it's time to start wanting what you have.'
I think a pot washer would be the right job for me. I would feel like I was doing something useful. Not just getting paid too much money to do absolute rubbish. I would feel like I achieved the right amount. To see a clean kitchen at the end. That to be my reward. The finished result.
You can dream of big things, believe me, it's a good thing, I want you to. But if you don't want to do anything major, why not start with something small, achievable. There's nothing wrong with that whatsoever. We shouldn't dream of big flashy things to feed our hunger and greed.
People who earn all that money, they get soaked up in it. They become blind to other things. Things that matter. Then they want more and more and when they get more it continues the more they get the more they want.
Small things are sometimes better.
So for now I shall continue to look for a job as a pot washer. This will be my dream.

LORD Give Me Grace...

When we get angry we become passionate. When William Wilberforce saw people being mistreated in slavery he become angry and passionate to see it eradicated.
We can all use our anger for good. To change the things that are wrong into the things that are right. I see the world as a blob of clay, given to us to mould. But sometimes people get confused about what is right so they do it wrong, make lumps and bumps. We can smooth these out, make it right. We all have a lot more power than we think we have. If you see something that you don't think is right, don't just sit there watching it happen, moaning that things should be different. We can all make a change! Every small change can lead up to big changes. Yes, we can only do our bit, but EVERY bit counts.
I have only a small dream. One which, wherever I see it happen, I will make an effort to stop it.
I want everyone to feel like they have a place. Everyone counts. I don't want there to be exclusive groups, everyone should be allowed to join in. What gives people the right to assign someones place?
I want everyone to feel accepted. Loved.
What makes me angry is that nearly everyone will have felt at some point in their lives that they're not accepted. That these people don't like them. Well stuff them! Because we're all important. We just need to find the right people to help us out. To help us to feel accepted. People build up walls and won't let others in. Maybe they're threatened, but they shouldn't feel like that. Everyone has a right to be happy. I will make sure never to let people that I know feel lonely. There are so many lonely people in the world, but if all those lonely people got together. Problem solved. But it's not quite that simple. But I shall make an effort to try. Because what else can you do in this confused world?


LORD give me grace to try, help me to accept people, to be humble and kind.

The Beginning...

January 11Th.
It's tricky getting back into the swing of things after Christmas. You'd think I would have done that by now, not quite.. Although the panic of my Qualifications and studies has certainly come back. But I still feel in hibernation mode, I really don't want to leave the house! For now anyway, I would be quite happy with sitting at home, getting on with my life without the interference of reality, or people. I seem to be part of a rather difficult pattern at the moment; it basically goes, scream about my life, get into a state of 'I hate my life, I want to quite everything, I can't do it, no no no no.' Generally I'll have a good fight with my mother, then we'll both go off and sulk. Later she'll say something like "I've had an idea" or "I've realised" Followed by some helpful like " just enjoy life" or "lets have a new plan" This is all great and I feel relieved and happy. Then I think about it and realise I should really be doing my studies, they're what are going to get me places. It all ends up going back to my state of "I hate my life" and so on.
I often think I'm wrong, I must be really. But why is it that everyone else is right and can deal with 'our' way of living which is: be academic, study hard, go to college, uni, good job, blah blah blah. But I don't seem to be very talented at academia, at all. Which is hard, I think. I'm sure I would love to be, to enjoy studying. But I just don't. I hate it!
I figure somewhere down the line I will click, and say: "I've got it! That's what I'm meant to be doing!" And everything will fall perfectly into place. It does seem that everyone around me has quite a nice life, everyone gets what they want, when they want. They know what they want to be, and they know how they're going to get all that. I don't.
Maybe I'll become famous, this was always a dream. That I would have a place in the eyes of others. That I would wake up everyday thinking 'wow, I'm HER' Or that maybe I would be a revolutionist. Maybe not..

Who knows what will happen? Well, I certainly hope someone does. Him.