Pain of Life

It's was November and cold outside. 20th. I left the house at quarter past two to get there for half past. My stomach hurts. I thought it was the cold at first but I think it's because i'm nervous. I could barely bring myself to leave the house. I don't know how it got like this. We all used to be so good together. But she said we messed it up. Me and Him.
I tripped. Can you believe it? it seems pathetic, just one little trip. I fell face first, smack to the hard, cold ground. The car had no chance of stopping. it was too late. Went right over me. I heard my ribs cracking, my hips, my thigh bones, Snapping erupted all the way down my spine. But I was ok. Better than ok. Because I knew i'd never have to feel that nervous again, or worried or anxicous. I'd never have to feel anything again.
It rushed over me. peace. It was an immense, overwhelming nothingness. I was more peaceful than i'd ever been. It was like i'd been in pain all along and I'd had no idea. The shackles of life had been released and I could feel no more. The pain of life had left me. And I had left life.

I suddenly felt grief for those i'd left to suffer. They would have to continue the trials of life as long as it would hold them. But now I was free. Free to rest in peace as they'd always said. Only now did I get it. Maybe if i'd have known that it would have been like this I would have chose it a while ago. Why do we spend so long trapped in suffering when we can have freedom?
A warm glolw surrounded me, embraced me, held me tight. Touch was only an image before this, now it was real. For the first time I felt, loved. Like love had never existed before. Like it was something we'd reached for and believed we had held of, but it was only the shadow we managed to grasp.
I was alone but not really. I'd been alone before, but now I was with.. Him.